A Quest for Nerds

You know, everyone has a particular quest. A burden. Something they must struggle through one day.
I have SO MANY OF THESE.
Actually, quite seriously, I have a couple of books I always vow to finish at some point or another.
They tend to be older books, "Classics" that I feel like I have to read in order to be a "real" reader. 

BOOKS I CANNOT SEEM TO READ

1. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. The Once and Future King, by T. H. White
4. Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy

I have checked all of these books out of libraries multiple times. I have read up to a third of some. I OWN some of them. About once a year, I ACTIVELY SEEK each of them, and attempt to read them.
And then I get stuck. So, so, so stuck. And I start reading something else. And then... the due date comes up, and I return it, and forget about it.
Currently, I am attempting to read J. R. R. Tolkien's The Two Towers, or books III and IV.
I am.... halfwayish.... into Book III.
See, the thing that really gets me is that I HAVE A PATTERN, and I KNOW I have a pattern, but I still can't frigging seem to finish any of the books on that list.
Although to be fair, The Lord of the Rings (LOTR) is pretty much an enormous series. But whatever.
The pattern I wind myself into (every. time.) goes something like this:

Innocent/Naive Self (INS): "Oh, it is *summervacation/springbreak/Christmasbreak/longweekend*. You know what I will do? I will check out *book 1, 2, 3, or 4; see above*. And I will finish it during *summervacation/springbreak/Christmasbreak/longweekend*. And then I can check off a Literary Achievement!"

(I am joking about the Literary Achievement bit. Kind of.)

And the thing is, despite all odds, this happens pretty much every break. I seem to regain my sense of innocence and naivete.

Actually, this Spring Break I'm reading Book III of LOTR.
Or maybe The Once and Future King.
Or Pride and Prejudice.
*Innocent/Naive Self: "OR ALL OF THEM! WE CAN TOTES DO IT!"*

Yargh.
The worst part is the impending sense of Doooom when the end of *summervacation/springbreak/Christmasbreak/longweekend* comes around.
Dooooom................
Doooom................
Dooom.............
Doom...........

And with that cheerful thought, I leave you.
Because I have a lot of reading to do.

RR

Book of Le Moment

I am always bothered when peoples ask for my "favourite book".

Hmm, okay, do you have eight hours or so to spare?

I could go on for hours - and change my mind about a kagillion times as I do - but I have to say, there's this one book that is ALWAYS on the list:

The Princess Bride, S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and Adventure, The "Good Parts" Version, Abridged by William Goldman.

So. Cool.

If you've been living under a rock in Siberia eating moss and drinking snow you melted through sheer willpower and haven't gotten a chance to see the movie, here is the basic story:

There is a girl named Buttercup, who is the most beautiful girl in the world. When her beloved Farm Boy, Westley, was killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts, Buttercup swore to never love again. Ergo, when Prince Humperdinck, ruler of Florin (the country where the book is set), threatens her with death if she doesn't marry him, she's pretty much cool with it.

The characters include Inigo Montoya ("You kill my father....prepare to die!" You knew it was coming), the world's most talented swordsman, on a mission to kill the Six-fingered Man and avenge the death of his father; Fezzik the strongman, looking for somewhere he belongs; and the Sicilian, Vizzini, an evil genius for hire.

I don't think this book could get any better.There are evil giant rodents, and a FIRE SWAMP. I mean, really?
Really?
I don't see how it COULDN'T be a classic.

The story is broken up with (fictitious) pieces from William Goldman's life; his legal woes in trying to revamp "S. Morgenstern's" classic, his cold marriage, his relationship with his son -

it SOUNDS dull, but I like how sarcastic and self-deprecating he is.

The story of The Princess Bride started as a bedtime story for William Goldman's two daughters, and it has that Fairy Tale Feel... sweeping and magical, but grounded with a sense of humour that original (cough cough ANCIENT cough cough) fairy tales don't.

I picked the book up because of the movie. They almost perfectly match, and the movie was impeccably cast - if you have seen the movie, you can picture each actor as their character. Which I consider to be book-to-movie-adaptation gold.
Eenyway. I am very, very sorry for my prolonged absence, and recognize that many of you have left, never to return - but if anyone is still reading, thank you.
Happy New Year,
Radical