Stieg Larsson, I Take It Back

I WAS WRONG.

Now that we've got that over with, I can move on.
And explain to you what I was so very, very wrong about.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, that's what.

I thought it would be a sensationalistic, slightly trashy sex-soaked, middle-aged man's fantasy.
Well, it wasn't.
It was an incredibly intricate tale of corporate espionage, corruption, and a psychotic family. Even though I don't think it's quite the epic masterpiece of literature that will lead us into the Golden Age that it is occasionally described as, I did enjoy it, and look forward to reading the rest of the series.
Despite the graphic violence towards women, it wasn't nearly as gratuitous as I expected it to be. All the abusers of women were, generally, punished for their sins, and I think it's interesting that Larsson felt the need to include that. I actually don't think that criticisim of the book based on its portrayal of women is fair. To be honest, I find shows like CSI to have more gratuitous violence against women (how many Vegas strippers can that show realistically kill before they, you know, RUN OUT? I mean, strippers are not exactly an endless resource. Just saying.). The backstory of Lisbeth's character is certainly worth reading - when Larsson was a teenager, he saw a young woman (by the name of Lisbeth) being gang raped, and it haunted him for the rest of his life that he did not help her.
If anything, I think his portrayal of Lisbeth taking revenge on psychotic males to be fitting. Though it's true that at least in the first book women take it pretty bad, I think that punishment is doled out in plenty.

The character of Lisbeth Salander is the highlight of the book, for me. She's promiscuous but not judged for it, she's young but wiser than most people older than her, and she's a technological genius - but despite this, she's not a stereotype. She's not some Goth tech chick with a raging sex life who all the nerdy boys and FBI guns drool over. She's a damaged, psychologically flawed, and bitter little person with a crazy back story, and wicked need for revenge. While I'm not going to hail her as the start of a new wave of feminists heroes, I think it's just neat that she is a hero.

So, there you have it.
I apologize, Stieg Larsson.
(I still think there could a little less about the corporate corruption, but it was still good.)

Sincerely,
the Maybe Girl

Planet of Literary Guilt: The Austen Strikes Back

That delicious cloud of awesome permeating the air?
That, my friends, is the sweet taste of  VICTORY and ACHIEVEMENT and ACCOMPLISHMENT and CHECKING OFF GOALS.
Because I, RR, have finally.
Finally.
FINALLY.
Read my first Jane Austen all the way through.

*Cheers of the crowd*
*Rocky anthem plays*
*Tasteful laser show*
*Fireworks spelling things like "AUSTEN", "RR", and "VICTORY"*

Persuasion, published in 1817, was the last book Jane Austen ever completed. With a heroine Anne Elliot whom Austen called "too good" for her.
Also, it is by far the easiest Austen to read because of a smaller cast and simpler plot than, say, Pride and Prejudice.
Basically, Persuasion is about forgiveness and enduring love (sigh).

So Anne is basically resigning herself to hanging out with her vain father, neurotic younger (married) sister, and older unmarried sister who is obviously their father's favourite, for the rest of her life. THEN!
LO AND BEHOLD:
Captain Frederick Wentworth, a Man From Anne's Foolish Youth, appears on the scene.
Annnnnnd we all pretty much can guess what happens in the end.

I am not going to summarize the book anymore because A) HOW CAN YOU NOT GUESS WHAT THE END IS, and B) this post is not actually about the sheer loveliness of reading Persuasion. It's about GOALS! ACCOMPLISHMENT!
And the sweet, sweet taste of victory.
Am I going to accomplish everything else on my Literary Goal list?
Um. Probably not.
But you can bet I am going to suck every bit of gratification out of the ones' I do get to check off.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a celebratory parade to attend.

Yours, a thoroughly gorged on self-congratulation
RR

Bloody Bloodiness!

I was cruising through my stores of Drafted posts that have never borne Bloggy Fruits when I realized that I haven't written anything on the Bloody Jack books yet.

*Hits self on forehead*

The Bloody Jack series, by L. A. Meyer, is a trillion kinds of awesome. Seriously.
The first book is called Bloody Jack (no surprises there), and it is about a scrawny little girl named Mary who lives in London in the 1800s-ish. When she becomes an orphan, she joins a gang of kids running around London stealing drunk peoples' clothing and fighting other gangs. THEN, her buddy is killed by Muck, a creep who sells bodies to doctors, and Mary decides to leave the gang by dressing up as a boy, joining the Navy ship The Dolphin, and renaming herself Jacky. While in the Navy, she goes through puberty (she thinks she's dying at first), falls in love, and kills pirates and child molesters.

The second book is The Curse of the Blue Tattoo, and it's actually the first one in the series that I read. You KNOW a series is good when you can read the second one, and still follow the plot and like the characters. Jacky is punted off The Dolphin and sent to the Lawson Peabody School for Girls.
That's right, this gun-toting, shiv-wielding, spitting, swearing, skinny little pirate-killer is gonna become a bleedin' lady of manners and wot-not.

I am not going to get into the other seven or so books, but suffice to say, they are also really neat reads.
My Uncle R, who is pretty into 19th century sailing and ships and boats and stuff, also says the books are both really good and fairly accurate. I just find it neat that we can both read the same book and enjoy it equally.

I am just going to say this: I have read a LOT of books with kick-ass female protagonists, and if I were going to need backup or assistance or a friend from one of those books, I would pick Jacky Faber. (Or Hermione Granger. But that comparison's really not fair, because Hermione's magic....)
Jacky is a scrawny, smart, funny, brave-but-also-cowardly, snarky, sneaky, unforgettable little con-artist of a character. She's loyal, a bit of a hell-raiser, and tries to get along with everybody, except if they are evil/mean/cruel, in which case she concocts diabolical ways to get revenge on them.

The writing in the first half of the first book is a little funky because there are a hell of a lot of run on sentences much like this one, but they actually flow really well. I don't usually enjoy Streams of Consciousness, but I enjoy Jacky's. About midway through the first book, though, she starts to talk normally (as normal as 19th century pirate killer talk on Navy ships gets) because she starts to get some schoolin' in.

The thing that really gets me about this series is that even though it reads like a teenage girl telling you what's going on in her life, the series is actually written by L. A. Meyer, a fifty-year-old-ish guy in Maine. His website (linky goodness here) actually leads to either his art gallery's page or Jacky's page. Continue to Jacky's page! He sells autographed books for $24 (US, I think) and t-shirts (he actually makes them, and they are actually cool) for $24 (US again, I think).

Also, luckily for us all, there is a new book (9th in the series, I think) coming out in September. 

Have at 'em, mates!
Captain Radical

Bite Me, Timekeepers

*This is a post I started back when Daylights Savings Time had just started again and was screwing me up. This should alert you all to the time it takes between Blog Post Idea and Actual Legitimate Blog Post. I am like a snail. Persistent, slow... I think this analogy should end here.*

I am not afraid to say that Daylight Savings Time sucks.
While I am not totally opposed to the general idea or even the implementation, the actual doing of it irritates me. The idea that Time can change, that we affect how the already almost impossible to measure substance running our lives is counted kind of bamboozles my brain.

Another thing running around my brain is revolution. I've been reading books on the French Revolution lately, and it is... disorientating, to say the least, to be able to draw comparisons to present day events in the East, specifically Egypt and Libya.
The only book to come to mind concerning issues of time and political rebellion was Revolution, by Jennifer Donnelly.

Andi, a high school senior, is a pill-popping, emotionally traumatized musical prodigy supporting her mother through a mental breakdown after the death of her younger brother Truman. When her estranged father enters the scene, he swiftly makes a series of decisions that will change Andi's life forever. Putting her mother in a mental hospital to help her recover, he takes Andi to Paris with him for Christmas break, so he can supervise her senior project, and help identify a young boy's heart in a glass jar, rumoured to be that of the last Dauphin - possibly King - of France, Louis-Charles, or Louis XVI, the son of Marie Antoinette.

When Andi stumbles upon a diary from the years of the French Revolution, she is intrigued and captured by Alex, a young aspiring actor who takes a position as companion and joker for Louis-Charles, and later lights fireworks for him when he is imprisoned at the age of ten by the corrupt regime of Robespierre.

I did not expect to like this book as much as I did. I got it as a gift, and my first reaction was basically I liked the author (her earlier YA novel, A Northern Light? SO MANY KINDS OF AWESOMENESS), but the premise (time travel+teen angst) didn't seem particularly appealing.
SO WRONG. (Ah, how I love the taste of literary crow in the mornings..............)

Revolution was crazy good, not only because I love historical fiction (especially the French Revolution, for some reason) but because Andi is a really, really incredible character. She's tortured and moody, but it doesn't feel as tired and boring as the patented "Teenagers + Angst = Guilt + Depression" as a plot device usually is.

An interesting undercurrent and side-plot is Andi's music. She's a talented musician, focused mainly on guitar, and the music the author chooses to mention in the book (from Led Zeppelin to Debussy) never feel like it's just being thrown in to hook People Who Like Music; it just feels like an actual facet of Andi's character.

If you're interested in reading more about Jennifer Donnelly and Revolution, she has written some really interesting things about it on her website.


Enjoying the "End of Blog Post Means I Have Accomplished Something Today" high,
RR

Beer and Genetics

So, egotistical maniac I am, I've been reading up on this blogging blog's stats.
Disturbingly, the Google searches that have led hapless readers to my clutches are people wondering or trying to find the following:

1. Books where the main character goes on a road trip

2. How to have good looking children

3. I am the messenger sequel

4. Is there always one good looking sibling?
5. Le messenger beer

6. lemessenger beer

For starters, I am sorry to have misled so many beer aficionados. 

I'm pretty sure there isn't a sequel to I am the Messenger, but here's the link to the author's website if you want to explore that a bit further.

To have good looking children, marry someone good looking. (I could do a bit of a rant about loving your children for who they are, but it's been a long morning, so I'll leave you to your imagination on that one.)

I think good looks are fairly objective, but if you want to physically compare yourself to your sibling your entire life, I suggest you start saving for therapy now. 

On that cheerful fiscal note, I leave you. 

 RR

Review: Water for Elephants

Every once in a while, I read a really lovely book about a time gone by - not so far gone by, but a time almost forgotten. It is one so foreign from our present that it meshes wonderfully with the fiction the author has created.
Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen, is an excellent example of this. A beautiful novel built around a traveling circus train, it follows the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth circus during the Great Depression.

Jacob Jankowski, the main character, is a "ninety or ninety-three year-old" rotting away in a nursing home in the present. One of his five children or many grandchildren visit regularly, and he lives a tolerable life, if not an interesting one. Bored by his dull present, he recounts his past with the circus.

At twenty-three, he is about to take his final exams to become a veterinarian at Cornell, when he is told his parents have died in an accident. Unfortunately, he also loses his home and everything in it, as his parents mortgaged the house to pay for Cornell, and his father had been working for food. Desolate and broken, Jacob jumps a train that turns out to be the traveling circus of the Benzini Brothers. (The Benzini Brothers do not actually exist as characters in the book, but their circus was bought by a central character.)

He is hired by the manipulative Uncle Al, head of the circus, as a veterinarian, and becomes friends with August, the unpredictable and frightening head animal trainer, who is married to the mesmerizing and beautiful Marlena. Also featured is Rosie, an elephant spontaneously purchased by Uncle Al. At first, Rosie is badly beaten  by August for not obeying commands - until Jacob discovers that Rosie speaks Polish, and will respond to a myriad of commands as long as they are in Polish.

This is not a ground-breaking book. It doesn't unravel any mysteries untouched by man, it doesn't make any sweepingly epic declarations on the state of being human. But it is a beautiful, readable book about a young man, the world of the circus, and his love for a woman and, improbably, an elephant.

Well worth a read if you are into subcultures, animals, true love, and/or historical fiction.
Yours truly,
RR

Planet of the Literary Guilt Monkey Part II

Today I caved to the hype, and checked out a Stieg Larsson - my first, actually. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Multiple friends, family, acquaintances, libraries, and publications have told me that TGWtDT is a book worth reading, but I have just not been able to muster up the urge to WANT to read it. Why? Why, you ask?
(Why yes, I AM blatantly setting this up for a list! How DID you guess???)

WHY I CAN'T SEEM TO READ TGWTDT:
1) It's enormous,
2) the actual main character is a middle-aged man, not someone I easily identify with,
3) the way people say it treats women (not so good), and finally,
 4) it's been publicly lauded as fantastic and multiple people have recommended it to me.

For some reason, while I enjoy recommending books, I rarely enjoy books recommended to me. Especially books like TGWtDT, what with it being pasted all over Time, Newsweek, Macleans, Entertainment Weekly, bookstores, libraries, etc. for the last couple of years.
In short, overexposed.

When a book has been as talked about and praised and recommended as TGWtDT, I just find that it never really lives up to my expectations - much like The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. While I acknowledge that both books are good, incredibly good, even, I can't seem appreciate them as much as a book I find on my own. This may tap into my block with Jane Austen books, and is definitely something I would like to one day vanquish as Buffy did so many of the undead.

But New Years is a long time away, so I suppose I will just have to tuck my LitGuilt 2.0 away until December - when I can obsess over it with PURPOSE.

Sincerely,
RR

Planet of the Women

Hi all,
Today is (according to Facebook) International Womens' Day!
So in honour of IWD, I have decided to do a post on, surprise surprise, WOMEN.
Below, a list of my favourite female characters:

RR'S FAVOURITE FEMALE CHARACTERS:
1. Mary "Bloody Jack" Faber
She's a pirate/musician/entrepreneur whose adventures start when she is about ten as an orphan on the streets of 19th century London. Reckless, scheming, smart, and funny, all good things.

2. Hermione Jean Granger
Smart, quick on her feet, and a great witch. Also, clearly has social conscience, as evidenced by S. P. E. W.

3. Magdalena "Maggie" Lorraine Quinn
A normal... slightly psychic.... girl just trying to vanquish evil, graduate university, and find a good pair of jeans.

4. Imogene Yeck
She sees fairies, has an imaginary friend who's not so imaginary, dresses thrift store chic, and can pull off being entirely BLUE. Also, knows how to make a few extra bucks here and there, and can defend herself pretty handily in event of a fight.

5. Jane Eyre
Hard core awesome. Doesn't care about husband's blindness and whatnot, but sticks to her morals when offered position as would-be husband's mistress when his secret in the attic is uncovered.

6. Elizabeth Bennet
Ms. Bennet, though possessing faults, is both quick with a comeback and loyal to her family, both traits I admire. Also, she manages to have her own opinions and act upon said opinions in a time when parents basically owned their daughters. Kudos given for not marrying cousin, even under maternal pressure. (I don't care how distantly they were related! IT'S STILL GROSS!)

On a more serious note, I direct your attention to the International Women's Day website. It's been one hundred years since they started, and I think it's amazing how far we've come - but how far we still have to go. Please take a look, it's a great site, and a great cause.
Yours Sincerely,
RR

A Quest for Nerds

You know, everyone has a particular quest. A burden. Something they must struggle through one day.
I have SO MANY OF THESE.
Actually, quite seriously, I have a couple of books I always vow to finish at some point or another.
They tend to be older books, "Classics" that I feel like I have to read in order to be a "real" reader. 

BOOKS I CANNOT SEEM TO READ

1. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien
3. The Once and Future King, by T. H. White
4. Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy

I have checked all of these books out of libraries multiple times. I have read up to a third of some. I OWN some of them. About once a year, I ACTIVELY SEEK each of them, and attempt to read them.
And then I get stuck. So, so, so stuck. And I start reading something else. And then... the due date comes up, and I return it, and forget about it.
Currently, I am attempting to read J. R. R. Tolkien's The Two Towers, or books III and IV.
I am.... halfwayish.... into Book III.
See, the thing that really gets me is that I HAVE A PATTERN, and I KNOW I have a pattern, but I still can't frigging seem to finish any of the books on that list.
Although to be fair, The Lord of the Rings (LOTR) is pretty much an enormous series. But whatever.
The pattern I wind myself into (every. time.) goes something like this:

Innocent/Naive Self (INS): "Oh, it is *summervacation/springbreak/Christmasbreak/longweekend*. You know what I will do? I will check out *book 1, 2, 3, or 4; see above*. And I will finish it during *summervacation/springbreak/Christmasbreak/longweekend*. And then I can check off a Literary Achievement!"

(I am joking about the Literary Achievement bit. Kind of.)

And the thing is, despite all odds, this happens pretty much every break. I seem to regain my sense of innocence and naivete.

Actually, this Spring Break I'm reading Book III of LOTR.
Or maybe The Once and Future King.
Or Pride and Prejudice.
*Innocent/Naive Self: "OR ALL OF THEM! WE CAN TOTES DO IT!"*

Yargh.
The worst part is the impending sense of Doooom when the end of *summervacation/springbreak/Christmasbreak/longweekend* comes around.
Dooooom................
Doooom................
Dooom.............
Doom...........

And with that cheerful thought, I leave you.
Because I have a lot of reading to do.

RR

The Macklinator!

It's nice to see all my imaginary friends still waiting for me.
Eeeeenyways, I haven't read a heck of a lot lately, but in the last couple of weeks I've seemed to have gotten my groove back. At least literature-ily. Book-ily? I haven't been reading a lot of what snobs would call "Literature".
One of the books I gathered at a library haul was Guyaholic by Carolyn Mackler, who has written books like Vegan Virgin Valentine and The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things. She is cool. There is no other way to put it.
The story of the Valentine family is started in Vegan Virgin Valentine, which I haven't read in a while, but was awesome. Mara is a straight-A senior, focussed and straightforward... until V, her pot-smoking, promiscous, sixteen-year-old niece (YES! her NIECE! I love this book) comes to stay.
In Guyaholic, the Valentine saga is continued with V, who has quit the MJ (I sound so hip... so urban... *crickets*) and embraced both school and the drama program. She's graduating high school with pretty good grades, and in a relationship with Sam, who she met during a "demon puck" incident (a hockey puck, guys. Nothing fairy/fantasy here). But when her mom bails on her yet again, V drunkenly makes a mistake that sends Sam running.
V decides, on a spur of the moment, to spend the first part of summer driving cross-country to Texas and visit her mom on her own terms.
The rest of the book is just pure awesomeness. Why? Why, you ask?
Um, it's a roadtrip. Is there truly anything better than a road-trip to give a story plot and purpose? I don't think so.
What I enjoyed about Guyaholic was both the road-trip format and the characters. V's a really fun character, and I enjoyed going cross-country with her. I really enjoyed that she was traveling alone, just messing things up on her own and then sorting them out independently - but getting help when she needed it. She's a fun character, a little wild, but ultimately just looking for what will make her happy. While suffering from a classic case of Denial, it was Palatable Denial, a conscious suppression of things she didn't want to deal with - and conscious decisions to try to deal with them later.

Overall, definitely worth reading. A fun book with a good ending and spunky heroine.
Also, it's a road-trip book.
I mean, seriously.
RR

PS: There may be grammar/writing errors in this, and trust that they will be edited out. But in the meantime, I am just DESPERATE to get something fresh up. -RR

For Goodlooking Children, Marry Your Siblings

That's right.
A couple weeks ago, I went on an Egypt book binge - Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Nefertari, Selene, Mutnodjmet, etc.
And even though I read a range of authors (all female, but a there were about three different ones) there were a couple of things that kept cropping up: All of the women were *Gorgeous* with a capital G, and all the men were either really hot, or kind of pudgy and useless. All the Egypto-dudes were easily enthralled by womanly charms.
So. Exciting.

I kind of take offense that every author touching on Ptolemy-era Egypt seems to think that the women had to be Supermodel Stunning in order to be rulers. I mean, while it IS true that being good looking can give you a boost in the Charm Olympics, research has indicated that Cleopatra (whose name most likely was actually spelled Kleopatra, but we English-speakers tend to butcher, oh, you know, EVERYTHING, so there you go) was actually fairly plain, with a large, hooked nose, and some royal junk in the trunk. It was her mind that truly fascinated people, and made her one of the most iconic women in history.
The pudgey-or-crazy-and-powerful men thing was kind of annoying too, actually, and this is where m'mind drifted to:
Ladies and gentlemen, I present for your pleasure, an unprecedented glimpse into the men of Ptolemy Egypt! There were only TWO varieties, with ONE subcategory and ONE combo special - let the show begin!

FIRST, we have the Hot But Brash Young Thang, as seen in Ramesses II and Marc Antony. Typically a sleek and muscular warrior incredible in-between the sheets, this young charmer is also promiscuous, but in love with only ONE WOMAN. (It BASICALLYALMOSTKINDOF balances out to monogamy.) Now, the HBBYT has a subcategory: Hot Crazy Young Thang, as seen in Ankhenaten, otherwise known as the Heretic King, for basically pulling a Henry VIII and starting his own church.Also, spreading plague in his own castle.

SECOND, we have Nice But Fat and Useless, as seen in Seti I and Ptolemy XII Auletes. Typically the father or father-in-law of our main character, the Gorgeous And Brainy Princess, he is basically a nice guy, but stupid. Easily bamboozled into following the wishes of Evil Manipulative People, when he dies, his son assumes some of his responsibilities, becoming a combo deal of the two categories described here:

Hot But Brash and Easily Bamboozled Well-Meaning King Who Likes to Sleep Around But is IN LOVE With Only One Woman, or HBBEBWMKWLSABILWOOW. Which, come to think of it, might actually be an Egyptian pharaoh's name.

So, there you go. Books on Ptolemy-era Egypt in a page.

This is not to say that ALL books written by women are about annoyingly oblivious men and hot, smart women - I'm actually really looking forward to reading the new Cleopatra book by Stacy Schiff: Cleopatra: A Life. It sounds really good - especially as it is grounded in meticulous research and a biography by an acclaimed biographer. So, after  I wait for 52 other library patrons to read and return their copies... I'll let you know if it's something new. That actually makes sense.
I mean, I would like to think that one of the most complex cultures in the history of the world was led by people other than fat, promiscous, crazy old men.


RR

Book of Le Moment

I am always bothered when peoples ask for my "favourite book".

Hmm, okay, do you have eight hours or so to spare?

I could go on for hours - and change my mind about a kagillion times as I do - but I have to say, there's this one book that is ALWAYS on the list:

The Princess Bride, S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and Adventure, The "Good Parts" Version, Abridged by William Goldman.

So. Cool.

If you've been living under a rock in Siberia eating moss and drinking snow you melted through sheer willpower and haven't gotten a chance to see the movie, here is the basic story:

There is a girl named Buttercup, who is the most beautiful girl in the world. When her beloved Farm Boy, Westley, was killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts, Buttercup swore to never love again. Ergo, when Prince Humperdinck, ruler of Florin (the country where the book is set), threatens her with death if she doesn't marry him, she's pretty much cool with it.

The characters include Inigo Montoya ("You kill my father....prepare to die!" You knew it was coming), the world's most talented swordsman, on a mission to kill the Six-fingered Man and avenge the death of his father; Fezzik the strongman, looking for somewhere he belongs; and the Sicilian, Vizzini, an evil genius for hire.

I don't think this book could get any better.There are evil giant rodents, and a FIRE SWAMP. I mean, really?
Really?
I don't see how it COULDN'T be a classic.

The story is broken up with (fictitious) pieces from William Goldman's life; his legal woes in trying to revamp "S. Morgenstern's" classic, his cold marriage, his relationship with his son -

it SOUNDS dull, but I like how sarcastic and self-deprecating he is.

The story of The Princess Bride started as a bedtime story for William Goldman's two daughters, and it has that Fairy Tale Feel... sweeping and magical, but grounded with a sense of humour that original (cough cough ANCIENT cough cough) fairy tales don't.

I picked the book up because of the movie. They almost perfectly match, and the movie was impeccably cast - if you have seen the movie, you can picture each actor as their character. Which I consider to be book-to-movie-adaptation gold.
Eenyway. I am very, very sorry for my prolonged absence, and recognize that many of you have left, never to return - but if anyone is still reading, thank you.
Happy New Year,
Radical

Sick in the Real World

Hey peoples, this is RR reporting from.. well, who are we kidding, I'm not actually going to tell you.
I am sick. Have been since six this morning. Lotsa ickiness. But I have had a lot of spare reading time on m'hands. Since I woke up, I've completed the following list:

SICKY PERSON TO DO LIST
(Special Holiday Edition - oh, yeah. Christmas book review coming up soon.)

1. Watched Bad-but-Good TV show. (CHARMED, what! Power of Three! Prue! Piper! Phoebe!)
2. Brushed teeth. (Oh, the forbidden luxury. Ya gotta be sick to truly understand how delicious clean teeth are.)
3. Eaten candy canes. (Yummmm.... best candy ever. Also, these are stale. Chewy. Freaking awesome...)
4. Read Marcelo in the Real World, by Francisco X. Stork. (I read fast.)


So, moving on from my general ick factor, a review!
Marcelo in the Real World! By Francisco X. Stork!
Marcelo Sandoval is that around seventeen, and he's labeled as autistic, even though he does not technically fit under the Umbrella of Autism (or so the book says). He's fairly high-functioning, enough so that when his father demands he enroll at the regular high school in the fall or work at his law firm's office for the summer, it's not crazy hard for Marcelo to adapt to the routines of the office. At first, he starts off in the mail room, working under (get yer minds outta tha gutter!) Jasmine, an apparently gorgeous girl (Marcelo doesn't get "hot" or "beautiful" or even "remotely good-looking", so we have to rely on hearing how horny Dad's Partner's Jerky Son is for Jazzy). Then one day, Marcelo finds a picture in the trash - his father's firm is defending a company being sued for their windshields injuring people when they break, instead of shattering into millions of tiny, safe pieces as advertised. The picture is of a girl, of Hispanic descent, with half a face. The other half of her face is shrunken, burnt, and deformed. Marcelo connects with the picture, and the girl in it, and starts to investigate, wanting help her.
Jasmine was pretty much what I expected: callous, but reasonable, nice but not in a romantic or touchy-feely way.
Marcelo was okay. Kind of hard to connect with, but it was hard to tell if he was written that way on purpose as a symptom of his personality, or if the writing was just a little off.
I'm glad I read it - it was a nice distraction from Ickiness. But I have to say that I don't actually remember a heck of a lot of the plot, the legal stuff wasn't engaging enough, and several plot pieces felt like they never got picked up again. A one-time read, for sure.

Yours from the front line of the Holiday Ick War,
Radical

I am Le Messenger

Okay. So a couple days ago I was wasting time Googling things WHEN - I saw this link for a list of teen romance novels. Yes, yes it sounds bad. Lots of pimply sexual tension and kissing. But this was some Serious List Action.
And so I naturally reserved everything on it, because it actually looked pretty legit.
So the first book off the list I got from the beautiful, bountiful downtown library was I am the Messenger, by Markus Zusak. It's quite possibly one of the coolest and most frustrating books I have ever read.

COOL THINGS ABOUT I AM THE MESSENGER:
1. It is set in Australia. I challenge you to find Australia uncool.
2. The main character is named Ed Kennedy. Ed. Kennedy. I don't know why his name is neat-sounding, it just it.
3. Ed Kennedy (Zoh My God, I figured it out: His first name is in his last name. Maaaadness!) is an underage cab driver. (I guess you have to be twenty to drive "cabs" in Oz.) He's nineteen.
4. The book starts off when he and his friends are in a bank. And it is being robbed. Bank robberies do, in reality, suck, but in theory they are cool.
5. Ed is sent Mysterious Messages written on playing cards, specifically aces.
6. The messages lead him to find people who need to be helped.
7. There's a party in a church. A legit party, with music and free beer.

FRUSTRATING THINGS ABOUT I AM THE MESSENGER:
1. There is actually only one thing I found really frustrating: The ending.
Throughout the book, Ed et al are all "Who is sending these f*#&ing cards". And they do find out.
KIND OF.

The first time I read the ending, I was literally like: "WHAT THE F@*%, THIS ANSWERS NONE OF MY QUESTIONS THIS BOOK SUCKS SO MUCH ASS!!!"

Then I took a chill pill and read it again.
And again.
And again.

And I have come to the revelation that *even* if the ending is a LITTLE BIT OF A COP OUT (are you  listening to the Mind Messages I am sending you, Mark Zusak? Yeah, I thought so), this is still one of the coolest books I have read in a long, long time.
The characters all actually seemed like normal people, and Ed was/is really just a likeable, normal guy dealing with some really, really crazy stuff.

I am trying *really hard* to not leak any spoilers, so here goes: AFTER THE JUMP THERE ARE SPOILERS AND A RANT. READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL, SUCKERS.
So I'll insert my summary here:
I Am The Messenger is by Mark Zusak, a young Aussie who used to drive cabs.
It is definitely worth reading, but be prepared to slow down at the end so you fully process what is going on. The characters and (most of) the plot kick ass.
7/10, ka-ZAM!

I'm saying my adieus here also....

Sayonara,
Radical

Review: How I Live Now

How I Live Now, by Meg Rosoff, is a lovely little British novel by a lovely little British lady. Despite all that lovely little Britiness, it's solidly a part of the genre we like to call War Stories.

How I Live Now (HILN) is the story of an anorexic girl named Daisy, who is punted to England to live with her aunt and cousins when her stepmother becomes too awful to bear. While there, she becomes very close with her younger cousin Piper, marvels over the strange abilities of her cousin Isaac, is largely indifferent to Oswald, her oldest cousin, and falls In Love with her cousin Edmond.

That's right.

Cousin Love.

In England.

For some reason, though, it never becomes Truly Creepy. It just hovers at Slightly Disturbing If You Actually Think About It.

Then, in the midst of all this Cousin Bonding and Non-Creepy Cousin Love, a war explodes. Basically, Britain's main army has been lured out of the country for various reasons, and now another country or organization (who is carefully never named or identified, besides as being Not British) is not letting them back in.

!!!

WHO KNEW WAR WAS THAT SIMPLE!

Not me, that's for sure.

After brushing off that stunning tactical achievement, we are presented with the Splitting Up of the cousins: Girls with girls, boys with boys.

After various physically and emotionally harrowing adventures, the book does end fairly happy, but I will warn you:

This is not exactly a feel good read.

There are mass murders. They are gory, and awful, and heartbreaking.

There is a LOT of emotional damage, also, and the book does make a pretty good case for how hard it is for people to heal after wars.

My biggest problem with the book was that it was written very freely, without a lot of grammar. So there are run-on sentences that go on FOREVER. Even when the writing is really gorgeously (or gorily) descriptive, sometimes the odd structure can make your head a little grumbly. If you could relax, it flowed very nicely, but when just reading for a couple of minutes, it was kind of distracting.

In short, it was good. Bit of a hard read, due to Murder and Bad Sentence Structure (oops, meant Free, Loose, Poetic, Blah Blah Blah).

Avoid if even the slightest whiff of incest is really disgusting to you.

Sending kissing cousins your way,

Yours truly,

Radical

Back to Me Roots

I changed my name. Again. Honestly, I doubt that anyone is really reading this regularly, so I think it's kind of fun to just be able to do whatever.

I have no idea why I picked the above title. Being honest again, it started out as some pretentious, pain in the ass idea to write something really witty and profound about some dusty book from when I was little that I laughed, cried, and sighed over.

All of a sudden... I feel a weird pressure to write something Good, or at least made with Quality Ingredients.

But the truth is, that's not really why I'm here. I'm here 'cause I love to read. Books, blogs, magazines, postcards, advertisements, billboards, clothing, cars, busses, sky-writing... I just really like to read.

Odd how I used to dream of this blog as an Urban Movement, that would result in a Devoted Following, and of course an inevitable, highly coveted Book Deal. But when I am faced with a handful of readers, I become fogey. Stuffed up. BORING.

So after the Personal Reflection of this post, we'll be returning to our usual program: Books.

With stuffy affectations,

Yours truly,

Radical

Stupid Monkey

Hey mamacitas,

let's talk about one of my personal Literary Monkeys, clawing its way up my back to a prime position of right. next. to. my. right. ear: Book Guilt.

Yes, that's right. Book Guilt.

Fear it.

My Book Guilt regularly rears its ugly monkey like face when I have been indulging in a good session of Mindless Reading. You know what I'm talking about. Mindless Reads are the book equivalents of watching plotless sitcoms or cartoons instead of epically epic epics and award-winning, acclaimed documentaries. Over the last couple of months (digging back into School Work, ick) I've been imbibing in a steady flow of what I consider to be easy reads. Books that require effort, or are exceedingly Large and Intimidating, have been unceremoniously shoved to the back of the bookshelves, where herds of dust bunnies will snarl warningly at me when I forget and reach into the depths, looking for a book where neither high school nor romance is addressed. Lord of the Rings? LATER! Jane Austen? NOT NOW! Little Women? I'LL GET TO IT!

A couple of days ago at the school library, I decided to try to stop the screeching of the monkey at my NASCAR-racer-finds-lost-son-and-fiancee-they-live-happily-ever-after comfortably thin paperback pick by taking out one of the largest non-Twilight fictional books known to mankind: Anna Karenina.

BAD IDEA.

When trying to build up reading from, say, crappy romance paperbacks, one should try to move in small steps. From a romance PB to a mystery PB. From the mystery PB to a High School Hardcover (one of the first three Harry Potters, maybe). From the HS Hardcover to an Emotional Hardcover (say, a Sarah Dessen. THIS IS NOT A SLAM! I love her books with a righteous fire). From the Emotional Hardcover to a Fairly Easy to Read Classic (Little Women, anything about Anne Shirley). From easy classic, move to the Medium Classic (Austen, Tolkien). From the Medium Classic, proceed to the Hard Classics, otherwise known as Almost Anything By An Obscure Russian.

Accompany with lazy weekend afternoons and as little personal hygiene (washing, makeup, dressing) as is possible.

Yes, I see the irony in posting this on SUNDAY, the Ominous Weekend Day Because The Next Day Is Monday So What Is The Point Of Enjoying Yourself Because Tomorrow Might Just Suck. But this gives you time to prepare for NEXT weekend!

There will be more on this Lit Guilt later.

See you on the flip side,

AT/RR/AS

(all these names are starting to screw with my head. Oops! We meant our head.)

A Tragic and Unavoidable Life Event

At the beginning of last year, I stumbled on a book that has been the toast of the literary town lately: The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. Katniss Everdeen, and her romantic, political, physical, and moral struggles have captivated audiences around the world, of all ages, sizes, colours, and whatever other descriptives you can think of.

This book - the entire trilogy - has been hailed as the next great series.

Hm. Yeah.

In the last coupla weeks, I've mowed through the first two books and am anxiously waiting for the last one.

I cracked the book open with a sense of trepidation and hope: the questions that run through your head as you begin a book that's been raved about.

Will this be my next favourite book?

Is this book REALLY as good as they say?

Is this the beginning of a beautiful relationship?

(Yes, I have been single for a while. But you can't deny, a new book is a lot like meeting a new Potential Paramour.)

I mowed through the first book in a couple of hours, but my initial reaction?

meh.

MEH.

Seriously, 24 kids are sent to KILL EACH OTHER, there are complex, interesting relationships and political ties between characters, and my reaction????

"Meh."

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGH................

Look, THG is a really cool book. But I COULDN'T ENJOY IT!

The expectations! The rave reviews! The awesome covers!

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.

The build up was just too much - no book could have been the epic personal journey that it was set up as.

Then I read the second one: Catching Fire.

That one actually DID disappoint at first, but after about fifty pages, it got pretty good (see that? That is me underselling the book. In all actuality, it got REALLY GOOD, but I was trying to save you from my Tragic Fate). Then, in a fire of uncertainty and unreasonable anger at epically long waiting lists at the library, I broke like a stale cookie in a toddler's clammy fist and peeked at Mockingjay's plot on Wikipedia.

*Cue self-loathing*

So now, I have ruined the last book for myself (heh. But I do have the power to ruin it for my [nonexistent?] readers), and I have been left with the sad realization that no matter what I do, at some point, high expectations will not be met.

Some argue that logically, the thing to do is to have the lowest expectations possible.

I have subscribed to this Train of Thought before, and while momentarily gratifying, hope is something that we shouldn't just dismiss. When we hope, we are happy. I mean, if you have been, say, single FOREVER, you could just stay home all the time and cultivate facial hair, because you're realistically never going to meet your SoulMate. But if you get up out of bed and put on some of your favourite clothing and then go out to the library or local cafe or just for a walk - your chances of meeting someone shoot through the roof. (I hate to burst someone's bubble, but a hot Jehovah's Witness is NOT just going to show up on a day when you are wearing your cute pajamas. Seriously. I believe in fairies, but even *I* know that smokin' JH's do not coincide with Cute Days. Let it go.)

So basically, to sum up this uberlong, uberwindy and bendy post:

1. DO NOT OVERSELL THINGS LIKE BOOKS. Or movies. Or TV.

2. THG books are good books. Not great. But they are interesting, and easy to read. Also, they make you think. (RRRRGH, MUST STOP URGE TO OVERSELL!!!!)

3. Don't look up plot spoilers. It makes you feel superior and trashy. Not a good combo.

4. Hope is good. Keep it alive.

5. Buy cute pajamas. Because you never know what might happen.

6. Get outside. That's right, close this window, stand up, and vacate the premises. Breath. Smile at people.

And have a nice day.

Sincerely,

AT/RR

Something to Speak For

There are a lot of things that piss me off while simultaneously making me want to cry.

Animal abuse.

Child abuse.

Racism.

Sexism.

And one of my personal I-Despise-This-In-Particular-s:

Censorship.

In North America, every September school boards hold what are basically civilized book burnings, where they pick and choose from On High what books are suitable for our impressionable youth to intake.

This year, one of the targets is Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson.

I don't know why I haven't written about Speak before, but now I have to. People like El Ignoramus, otherwise known as Wesley Scroggins, have to be stood up to, or we will all be reading nothing but Millie Buys a Dress.

Speak is about a girl named Melinda, who is raped the summer before ninth grade. She is so traumatized, she cannot speak. She loses her friends. And she is all alone, trying to deal with something that no-one ever should.

Mr. Scroggins (known from here on as El Ignoramus, or EI) is saying that Speak, with its two sex scenes, is like pornography.

Okay, let's rewind. The sex scenes in Speak are in no way designed to get someone "hot and bothered". They are about RAPE. They are scenes of violation. Abuse.

There is nothing enjoyable about them.

Speak is a voice for all victims of abuse. It has given those who cannot speak a chance to be heard, in a way that they cannot.

Recently, a girl was gang raped by seven young men while up to a dozen people watched. She was drugged, and pictures were taken of the rapes, then plastered all over the Internet.

Girls her age are saying it was her fault, that she was on drugs, that she was willing.

That youth are so horribly ignorant on issues like consent and assault is frightening, and raises important questions about what our generation is being taught about sex. Speak is an important educating tool to talk about these issues, to teach and to learn. Banning it is like putting a gag in every victim's mouth.

Please read Speak. Read it in public, at school, in your home.

Read it sitting in front of the offices of ignoramuses like Scroggins.

Fight back by reading, and learning, and teaching.

Pissed off and sad,

AT/RR

My Name is Amy Stun, and I Read:

JODI PICOULT.

Probably every person in the free world who looks in a newspaper, library, or bookstore has heard of Jodi Picoult, most likely for her hit book My Sister's Keeper. And the thing is, her books are fairly complex. There are twists, betrayals, secrets, and double-crossings quite frequently. She has (to this intrepid reporter's view) captured the legal system almost perfectly and deftly maneuvers telling the story from multiple points of view.

That being said, Picoult is definitely not a perfect writer. Sometimes, her "subtle" hints can be annoying, as with the her sometimes cloyingly detailed descriptions of emotions. One has to wonder occasionally at character's vivid descriptions of their feelings, pasts, presents, and futures - they don't seem like realistic representations of what people would actually do. However, Picoult always delivers an engrossing, long, and generally satisfying read ideal for planes, road trips, and weekends away or at home. And in this world of Bestsellers and Literature, Picoult delivers smart, interesting Bestsellers.

MY FAVOURITE JODI PICOULT BOOKS

1. Salem Falls

Modern-day retelling of The Crucible. Always a good read. Full of creepy teenage girls and secrets. FUN!

2. Plain Truth

Dead baby. Teenage mother. Amish farm. Seriously insane plot. It's got two of my favourite things in crime books: teen mothers, and minorities. Both people who have complicated stories and points-of-view.

3. My Sister's Keeper

NOT A FEEL GOOD BOOK. I cry so much reading this book I get dehydrated. No joke.

4. The Tenth Circle

Again, not so much a feel good read. But interesting in its portrayal of Inuit traditions and teen sexuality.

Pick one up for a weekend, chickie poos. You won't regret it.

xoxo AT/RR